One more time
by Scana
Summary: After the war everyone must deal with the consequences. No one is perfect and time changes everything. Mainly Snarry fluff more info inside.
1. Prologue part 1

"Potter, what are you doing here?"

Harry finally tore his gaze from the stone floor to look up. His back was resting on door to Snape's rooms. He smiled, but even tactless and asocial professor of potions could tell it was fake.

"Can you give me a detention?" Harry was still smiling poorly. Snape noticed dark circles under eyes which were once so shining and bright.

"Unfortunately, I am no more allowed to do that, _professor_ ," Snape smirked and crossed his arms.

"That is really liverish," Harry sighted. He didn't look like he was going to move anytime soon.

"What are you doing here?" Severus asked again. His stare examined young man. He could never tell what was going on in that brainless head. And what more – why the owner of said head always come to him when he was in trouble. Didn't he have loads of friends to talk to? Didn't he have his soon-to-be-wife at home in Burrow? Why Severus?

Potter wasn't answering, and Snape wasn't heartless after all. He had some kind of weakness when it concerned this boy. He sighted loudly to express his annoyance, but he still sat down beside him. He found it humiliating and hoped none of his students would see them like this. He was sure Potter will pay for this later.

"I can't do it, Severus," Harry covered his face and rested his head on the door with rather dull thump.

"What exactly?" Snape smirked. Having Potter calling him by his first name so casually really felt different. Where were the times when he was so afraid of him?

Guess after the war there really isn't anything Potter could fear about me…

"I can't marry her. I can't have children and family and live happily ever after," his voice was full of tears, yet none would escape his eyes. Severus really didn't understand him at all.

"What are you talking about? Isn't family the only thing your heart truly desired all these years?" Snape wasn't looking at him. Just touching him merely by the shoulder was disturbing enough.

"Even after the war she is so pure, so innocent, so naïve. I can't touch her with these hands," Harry waved his hands in the air. Severus looked at them. He didn't say anything about _Potter_ calling someone naïve, but he sure let his face express what he thought.

"You are full of naivety yourself, Potter. Do not give yourself too much credit," Severus let slip one bitter comment. Harry chuckled.

"You're the one who is still the same. You even look the same!"

"Since when we are on such a friendly basis?"

"Since the moment you saved me?"

"You have to be more specific. There were lots of times I saved your stupid ungrateful arse," Severus smiled.

"That's right! You did. Maybe you shouldn't have tried that hard," Harry whispered.

"What are you trying to say?" Severus looked at the young man properly for the first time. His eyes were closed, his face shown he was in pain, his hands even trembled a little.

"I'm broken, Severus. I thought I could be my old self when this nightmare is over, but I'm not. I can't. I'm still afraid."

"You do not have anything to be afraid of. You are still young, full of life. You would be a fool to throw it away."

"I'm afraid of life. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm afraid I have to kill again. How could hands that sacrificed friends, hurt them, threw them into danger and _made them kill_ , create something as innocent as new life? I'm not a hero, Severus. I'm a murderer. And the blood will never wash away."

Severus was kind of amazed by depths of Harry's thoughts. He sat in silence simply because Potter was right for once. How could anyone live with such a burden? In the end darkness always win. Even if you destroy it, you destroy part of yourself in the process.

"That is true. You are not a hero. You are something far greater. You are a hope, Harry. These hands you are blaming, created new tomorrow. You will never be the bad guy you want to become so much. The world is the villain. The world made you a savior, the world gave you fate and made you responsible for something a child such as yourself should never be responsible for," Severus spoke gently and quietly. He even reached for Harry's hand and held it tightly.

"Even if you claim to be a murderer, your hands are warm. And so is your heart, Harry,"

The boy looked at Severus. He didn't say anything, but his eyes screamed thousands of words at once. Finally, it became too much, and the words started to overflow making his eyes look like never-ending ocean. He hid his face in the older man's shoulder. Out of shame and pain he didn't want to show it to his mentor.

Listening to Harry's sobbing caused Severus' heart to break a little. Carefully he turned to face him. Harry wasn't looking at him. With his free hand he covered his face, so Severus wouldn't see him like this.

"You have good, brave and loyal heart. You do not have to fight for others anymore. Let the nightmare go. The only one who needs to be saved is you, Potter," for briefest second Severus touched Harry's cheek. The young wizard looked at him and smiled.

"What happened to Harry?"

"It was getting too sentimental," Snape muttered.

"I liked it though," Harry wiped his eyes.

"You cannot have everything you like, Potter," Severus growled in embarrassment.

"Apparently," the Golden boy smiled cheekily.

 **Hello my beautiful readers!**

 **On with the new story! As you can see in the name of the chapter this is part one of Prologue. It won't be long, it goes on for next two chapters and then the true storyline begins! In this three chapters I tried to set the basic questions and problems which will be the main plot of the story!**

 **The main story will focus on different problems, so I probably divide it in some parts as well.**

 **You can look forward to some other HP characters. It's a big change from Hands and I'm curious too how I will manage it.**

 **Other important information is that this story isn't anything edgy or depressing. After the prologue it will be fluffy again. I just can't help it I love writing and reading cute and adorable things.**

 **However, it will be something more that just sex and feelings. You can expect stronger storyline and mature thinking!**

 **Since I have part of the story already written I'll try to post regularly and not so much randomly. That being said I'll post the next part soon, the whole Prologue will be out shortly after New year!**

 **Thank you so much for your support and I hope you will like this!**

 **Bye for now!**


	2. Prologue part 2

It really shouldn't have surprised Severus that much when he saw Potter sitting in front of his doors again.

"What are you doing here, Potter?" he asked exactly the same as he did last week.

"Can you give me a detention?" Harry seemed to follow their routine.

"As much as I would love to, I cannot. What happened today?" he sighted and took one step closer.

"I hoped I could be saved?" Harry looked at him with a grin spreading on his face.

"I beg your pardon?" it this brat really making fun of him? Severus crossed his arms and gave him a look of disapproval.

"Ron said to me that he had to fulfill his brother responsibility," Harry smiled again and stood up. It was the moment when Severus noticed a bruise under his left eye and his ruptured lip.

"Come in."

Harry didn't really know why he came here. He could have go to the hospital wing, to his rooms, to Hermione, or he could help himself and heal his face with magic. But somehow this felt like the right option.

When Snape ordered him to sit on his couch, while he put some papers and other stuff on his table, Harry felt like crying again. Last time he talked to this man he wasn't expecting much help. In fact, he thought he would just kick him out and won't talk to him. But he listened to his stupid problems and made him actually feel better. With just a few words he lightened up his world.

Harry knew he wasn't fair with Ginny. He knew she didn't deserved this. But neither did him. Being with her made him cruel. He was always ready to fight, always expecting someone to attack them, always saw faces of dead people in his nightmares.

"I just felt so guilty. For not making her happy. I could never look at her the same after all," he said it just because it felt right to say it. Severus didn't ask him anything. He simply sat beside him point at him with his wand and whisper well-known words. After few seconds Harry's cheek didn't hurt anymore and his lip wasn't on fire.

"Better?"

"It still hurts."

"That is because it was done by your friend," Severus answered simply. Harry felt the need to be close to someone. To feel warmth again. He knew that his former professor understood him. Truly, deeply on some levels no other could ever understand. He didn't have any misconceptions about Harry, any expectations. For him he was just a normal person. Like any other. He could trust him, and he did.

"Maybe you can kiss it better?" Harry whispered so softly he wasn't sure Severus heard him.

"I beg your pardon?" There was expression of disbelieve on Snape's face. Just what was that stupid boy doing? Was he serious? He couldn't possibly want this, right? He saw Harry blushing and turning away. Why? Why wasn't Severus able to refuse him? It was most definitely stupid. It wasn't right. There weren't any feelings involved. And yet… he found himself kissing Potter's cheek lightly.

His expression after was priceless. He was red as if it was his first time being kissed. He looked confused and ashamed but also sad. So very sad that Severus just had to kiss him again. Where his lips were hurt.

Harry sighted and closed his eyes. He offered himself. And Severus wasn't a man who would refuse a gift. They kissed again and shortly after the tender start the kiss turned into a desperate battle.

Harry's hands found their way around the professor's neck pulling him closer. Soon they would get rid of their clothes. Their lips exploring everything as well as their hands.

It was the first time Severus had his back scratched so badly. Deep red lines ran all the way from his shoulder blades to his collar bones.

It was also the time when he learned that Harry Potter is kind of crybaby.

But Harry couldn't really help himself. He felt so alive in that moment. So happy. Everything was suddenly so simple. He just wanted to be messed up by Severus. So that he would forget everything. There would be nothing, just Harry and him and never-ending pleasure.

"I'm sorry," Harry said long after everything was done. He was still panting hard and his heart was racing like crazy.

"For what exactly?" He saw a small smile appear on Severus' lips before it turned into smirk.

"For using you like this. I didn't really plan for this, you know?"

"It makes it hard to believe you after…" Severus didn't finish his sentence on purpose. Harry made a bothered face but smiled eventually.

"You can't say you weren't enjoying it!"

"That makes two of us, I suppose."

 **Hello my beautiful readers!**

 **I can't even express how much I am excited and happy and bouncing around my living room like a madman thanks to your reviews and reactions! Thank you so much for following my stories and for liking them! I'll do my best to write more.**

 **Going back to this chapters – now it's kind of obvious that this will be explicit (more in the future). I wanted to leave this scene in clouds because it invokes that feelings are being developed and so is some relationship rather than just jumping right on the sex. But don't worry, there will be** _ **scenes**_ **in the future.**

 **We are in the middle of prologue and the whole thing is written in more art-like way? I mean there are more thoughts and hints then actual storyline and descriptions and stuff, but this will change after the prologue ends. I like to write in this style more, but it really doesn't work for longer stories and I'm aware of it, so I'll try to back off a little and write in a way that is pleasant for you. And what is more important in a way that no one get lost in what is happening.**

 **I hope you liked this part and as was said before - the next one will be out shortly after new year and it will also be longer than this one. I have to restrain myself from posting it too often because then there wouldn't be time for you to let the chapter sink in and for me to write anything! But anyway, have a nice weekend!**

 **Bye for now!**


	3. Prologue part 3

Harry found himself coming to dungeons every time he had a free afternoon. Or for a little chat before breakfast. Or in deep night after some really nasty nightmare. Sometimes he would just talk to the older man. Sometimes he needed Severus to hold him. And, oh my, he _did._

Harry would always feel guilty afterwards, apologizing.

"I'd never thought I could be so cruel," Harry whispered once again to the covers of Severus' king-sized bed.

"You mean to my back?" Severus teased him, smirking when he saw Harry blushing.

"No, you idiot. Or maybe, can I have a look?"

Severus simply turned away from him. He heard Harry gasp and feel his fingers traced the scratches. This time his hands were gentle. He sent shivers down Severus' spine and gave him goosebumps.

"I'm sorry," Harry replaced fingers with his lips. He cuddled himself to the older man.

"Harry, you're not cruel, not even the slightest," Severus returned to their main topic. Harry murmured something to disagree with him.

"Do you really think I would do this if I resented it? If I resented you?" He let the question sink.

"I guess not," Harry sounded like he was pouting.

"Your unbelievable deduction skills never cease to amaze me, Potter,"

"You're such a git,"

"So now _you're_ calling me names?" Severus turned back to face his younger friend. They were both smiling. Severus was happy to see Harry had a playful expression. His eyes were no longer dark. His hand gently caressed brown hair of his now colleague.

"I simply don't wish to hurt you," Harry looked sadly at Severus.

"Then don't," they kissed.

"You make it sound so easy," Harry was pouting again.

"Because it is, Potter. You make it difficult with that thick head of yours," Severus knocked at Harry's forehead with his knuckles.

"Seriously why do you put up with me?" Harry sighted.

"Maybe I'm a masochist, or maybe I need to use you too," Severus said quietly.

Harry's eyes widened in shock, "there's something seriously fucked up with us."

"That's why we're so good together," Snape gave him a small smile.

They hadn't seen each other for a while after this last encounter. Since it was close to Christmas, both had to focus on their classes as well as to help decorate the castle. They briefly talked to each other during meals or staff meetings, but there wasn't really any space for a real conversation and neither of them enjoyed small talks.

It, however, gave Harry time to think about things. After a week he missed his friend dearly. He missed talking to him, sharing his thoughts with him, his sarcastic humor. He even missed his rooms and the lingering smell of potions in it. He missed the sex of course too. All in all, Harry was getting quite flustered.

He felt truly happy when being with Severus. Harry valued his opinion and respected him. He would go as far as to say he nearly _adored_ the older man.

…

…

…

The revelation struck him out of blue, shaken him up to his core. He was undoubtedly falling in love! But how? Why? With Severus? He knew the man well, he heard about his past relationships, but the war and years of spying took away Snape's love-life completely. This was what he meant when he said he needs to use Harry, right? And Harry was thinking about it the same way in the beginning. Oh, sweet Merlin, he was utterly baffled. Harry found himself lost in the storm of his thoughts, his hands were shaking slightly.

"Professor, is everything alright?" one of his students asked. Harry snapped out of his inner chaos realizing he has stopped writing on the blackboard. He was totally confused for a few seconds, looking to his memos and reading what he had already written.

"Ehhhhhhh… Sure!" he put down the chalk and turned himself to face his students, "that will be it for today, please read the chapters 20 and 21 for next time. You may start now before the classes ends," Harry stuttered. He needed to sit down for a while.

This wasn't happening. It can't be! The two could never be together! They were just friends, just using each other to even off with the consequences of the war. They were just… Harry ran his hand through his hair. He remembered what Severus told him the first night he came to him.

They were just… saving each other one more time.

Harry was suddenly very self-aware. He tried to make sense to himself. Sure, Severus told him he didn't despise him, and he was pretty sure the older man felt they were friends as well. They eventually slept with each other… (Okay! Maybe a bit more than _eventually_ … Okay! They were sleeping with each other almost every night for the past two weeks. Happy now?!) But to get involved with _romantic feelings_? It didn't sound like something they would do. Their ways will part in the end, won't they?

Harry thought again about Ginny. He hadn't seen her since he broke off the wedding. He hadn't seen much of Ron or the twins either. Hermione sent him a few owls and met him once or twice, but since she was busy with work for the ministry, it was impossible to get ahold of her. Severus was pretty much the only one who talked to him on daily basis. That must be it. It's happening only because he's seeing Severus so often. Right?

He sighted for at least fifth time. He hasn't noticed the glances students sent his way.

Harry would have never thought about something like this during the war. They were getting close with Severus too, but they were still hardly acknowledging each other's presence. Even in the first two years after the war the two hardly spoke about anything personal.

But in the end Severus was the only one who understood him since… since _ever_.

The bell rang, and it was time for lunch. Harry got up and went to the Great hall with his class. He was lost in clouds, so he hasn't noticed Severus right away, much to his amusement.

"Mr. Potter," Severus spoke to him, lightly touching his upper arm. Harry jolted and looked at his friend with wide eyes.

"Oh, hi, Severus," he smiled chastely, his cheeks slightly blushing. His colleague raised one eyebrow making his characteristic expression.

"It's nothing really. How's your day going?" Harry changed topic.

"Splendidly. Two first years blew up their cauldrons, one third year managed to turn himself purple and one sixth year nearly killed himself mixing one of his ingredient with his drink," Severus let him know and kept on rattling for a while. Harry chuckled.

"Is it only me or are the students dumber and dumber every year?" Severus continued.

"Maybe it's you who's getting smarter and smarter instead," Harry bantered him. Severus gave him one of his I-am-certainly-not-amused-you-cheeky-brat looks.

"Very funny, Potter."

"I'm trying," Harry laughed and together, they sat at the teachers table. It still felt weird. Harry wasn't used to it, his eyes kept looking back at the Gryffindor's.

"What's more important than your stupid comments," Severus gently nudged him to call back his attention, "I'm free tonight, if you want to come over," he whispered. Harry's heart skipped a beat and he grinned at Severus.

"I'd love to!" he almost sang slash shouted. Few heads turned their direction and Harry's blush deepened.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, and Severus would laugh if he didn't have a reputation to keep.

They ate lunch in comforting silence, Harry lost in his head again and Severus wondering what has gotten into him. Not that he wasn't glad to see Harry happy, it was just odd even for Harry Potter to lost himself like that. He was usually more composed these days.

The evening came. Severus heard familiar knock on the door. He went to open, only to find panting Harry beside them. The younger man looked around to be sure they were alone before pulling the older man in tight embrace and kiss. They stumbled in, Harry kicking the door after them.

"What was that for?" Severus smirked to the kiss before he pinned Harry to the door.

"We haven't been with each other for two weeks, don't tell me you're not happy to see me," Harry smiled.

"It was hardly nine days, Potter, and we still saw each other every day, multiple times to be precise," Severus pointed out.

"So, you're trying to tell me, I'm the only one who's horny right now?" Harry teased his friend. Severus' eyes burned with passion and Harry knew he won.

"I swear this dirty mouth of yours," Severus muttered before kissing him. It was in his best interest not letting Potter say anything for at least next two hours.

 **Hello, my beautiful readers as always!**

 **I must say I really enjoyed writing this chapter and the next one and the one after that. It was like one big slash rocket taking me to Infinity and beyond! Well, I just wanted to say I'm really happy for your reviews and everything, so thank you very much!**

 **This chapter also closes the prologue and the main story begins! And you can see cheesy line which explains the name of this story! I can tell you, that not only these two needs to be "saved one more time" haha! Hope you enjoyed it!**

 **Bye for now!**


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